last christmas, i gave you my heart...(but the very next day, you gave it away.)

i realized that blogging is emma's thing.

and that's why i haven't done it... since basically the day i started.

and i don't want to steal emma's niche.

but i want to know all this...for me?

i'm in love; i feel like i've finally got it right.

he's the reason i can't fall asleep at night.

(am i really sinking into this golden light?)

it's almost christmas; that time of year.

and i'm bracing myself for when my grandma draws near.

(how come we never really can avoid the things we fear?)

i'm waiting for my grades; call me a freak or nerd

but i'm gonna ignore you cuz i need myself to be heard

and grades are my output for this lonely world

i went to church this week; first time in a while

and honestly, i truly think that Jesus makes me smile

(it's great to know that I'M his child.)

merry christmas! this is probably my last post. :)

figure i should put up some pics :)

these were taken by my amazing photographer friend, vera.

Don't you think she could make it big?? I do.

i don't know if i'm technically supposed to put these up here, but nobody will see them anyways, this is just a way for me to track my life. oh, and they ARE copyrighted.

oiwrt uhgfwpiaqohtgoehrag.

wEELL well well.
not really having the best day.
mom took me driving, and i backed out the driveway onto our grass.
Is that really that bad??
In any case, it set her off, and she kept snapping at me the rest of the drive for every mistake i made.
Hello, I don't know how to drive, so obviously I'm gonna make mistakes.
Then she's yelling at me about my "money management" skills.
they're called MY money management skills for a reason. let ME figure them out.
and if i mess up and go broke, let ME deal with it.
sdoghwrahto9awrhtgeh.

on a happier note.....

halle and i had an amazingly awesome sleepover last night :) we watched A Knight's Tale, with cute heath ledger, (haha) and Never Been Kissed. we talked until like 3:30, then I got to wake up at 9 to go get a passport for the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC!! wooh!! maybe something awesome will happen there! it at least will be better than this boring monotone life...

iTunes and Fall Break, my oh my

Merrily We Fall out of line, out of line

I'd fall anywhere with you, I'm by your side

Singing in the Rain humming melodies

We're not going anywhere until we freeze

Well, yesterday I got to spend some quality time with my wonderful poet friend.

She doesn't know I have this blog, because I stole the idea from her :)

I don't have anything ephipany- worthy to write about.... except, lately, I've been thinking,

will I ever become somebody GREAT? Okay, I'm smart. But it's just average smartness.

There are millions of people in the world way way wayy smarter than me.

Okay, I can SORTOF write. There are millions of people in the world who can write

way way wayy better than me.

Okay, I can play violin.

There are so many better violinists than me it's not even funny.

Okay, I can ride horses. The chances of me making it big are slim to none.

So, what exactly is my purpose?

Why am I here, God??

I may not know these things right now, but I'm not going to let them drag me down.

I'm just going to keep being the best me I can and hope for the best.

Oh, on another subject...

Speaking of "hoping for the best," it's more like "trusting God for the best"

because I seem to be trusting him a lot lately, for everything.

Guys too, a lot. Sometimes I feel self-conscious because everybody has a boyfriend or somebody

that likes them, except me, or so it seems. Plus there's only one guy I like, and I've

liked him since... I don't know, June? Without really liking anyone else.

So I'm tempted to get upset that he has a girlfriend and everything,

But I know that if it's meant to be, it will happen in God's time.

It takes a lot to be ok with that.

So, live and learn, I guess.

First Blog =]

I got this idea from a friend of mine who is an avid blogger. She's also one of my besties. I just feel choked up with everything that's happening, sometimes, and I think it'll help to write it out. Ok, here is the source of my site title(also the best poem ever):

I to my perils

of cheat and charmer

Came clad in armor

By stars benign;

Hope lies to mortals

And most believe her

But man's deciever

Was ne'er mine.

The thoughts of others

were light and fleeting,

of lovers' meeting,

or of luck or fame;

Mine were of trouble

And mine were steady,

So mine were ready

When trouble came.

-A.E. Housman, 1925