oh yes, about that...

the last, oh, stanza or so of that poem wasn't great. but i like the message.

today was better. i'm trying to tell myself he's not worth the pain, that any guy is not worth the pain, because i'm only 15 and have my whole life ahead of me. i look at myself from the outside and see a silly girl crying over a boy she never had. and it looks so shallow, at this age. but i don't feel shallow... the pain feels real. does that make sense?

in any case, today was church, homework, violin, and grandma visit. i'm trying to get close to God again. but in a weird way, i feel like if i do i'll have to give up my sadness. and i don't know if i'm quite ready to let it go. which probably sounds stupid. i'm having a hard time expressing myself here. :) but i'm ready to get close to God again, so after i'm done blogging it's time to go read Psalms. they're beautiful, both in touching the heart, and the way they're composed... the figurative language and wording are some of the best i've ever seen. probably because it's divine. well, that's about it.

i notice my blogs are getting rather long. is that bad? btw, thanks for the poem, e. :) i'll be posting the best psalm i read tonight on this tomorrow.